hey hotties.
yes meegawynn, i am a slacker. i'm a non-updating whore. piss on me. sorry guys. 
this is gonna be a big update, so go ahead and take a potty break and you might want to grab some refreshments. please keep all body parts inside of the xanga and enjoy the ride.
i recently vacationed in the oh, so BEAUTIFUL destin, florida with my mom and sister. we stayed in the sandestin HILTON [[yesssss owned by paris hilton's father himself niccassss]] and it was the nicest hotel that i've ever stayed in. the beaches were awesome and there was a starbucks on every corner. HEAVEN. there really weren't any hott guys, but who cares? the scenery was much too breath-taking to be scoping out guys anyways. i <3 the beach.
yesterday was my eriky's 18th bday. we went and met her folks and grand folks at thai palace and ate some much delicious pad thai. ohhh, yummness. after that, me and eriky took off and beelined applebee's so that we could eat some cheesecake. we then decided to ask the waitress how to get to X-MART because i wanted eriky to go in and tell me how it was. well it was too far away and we didn't go the right way or SOMETHING....anyways, we didn't make it to x-mart yesterday. boo, whores. instead, we went and looked at tattoo designs for eriky's tattoo. i've narrowed my choices down to three and so i just have to go back in three months and decide which one i want to get. EEEEEEEEEEEEE i cant wait to get my tattoo!!!
after that we went to eriky's house and chilled for a while then her parentals took us to wal*mart and we picked out a digital camera for eriky. needless to say we played with it all night long. we then ventured off to WE2 to pick up eriky's very annoying step brothers so that they could come over and eat birthday dinner with us. i didn't get to stay for the birthday dinner because her brothers are slower than slugs, so i had to go home and finish my paper WITHOUT EATING SHRIMP AND BEEF KABOBS. stupid fuckers.
now for some serious shit.
i've been discovering a lot about myself lately. i've learned that i'm a total bitch and i subconsiously hold grudges. i can forgive, but i just cant forget. i suppose that i need to work on that. i've also discovered that i care too much about what other people think. remember when i had pink hair and came to school looking like shit everyday? yeah, that was like last year. i've changed a lot since then. i care more about myself and my appearance now and i definitely feel like i need others' approval about a lot of things.
like who not to date.
i really like robert. i do. he hangs out with people i wouldn't normally hang out with. i guess you could say that i'm scared to hang out with them. why? because i don't feel like i belong - like i'm not good enough. it's not stopping me from liking him, but it definitely makes me worry a lot more and it makes me nervous when i'm around them and i totally find myself being someone i'm not. that's just not cool.
he's super sweet too. he calls me every night and we talk for an hour or two about little nothings. he always compliments me. you know how when you're on the phone with someone telling a story and they'll sparactially go "uh huh...yeah" ? well when i'm telling a story or i'm explaining something serious or anything to that nature, i really feel like he's listening. that's the kind of guy that i honestly feel like i deserve.
robert and i have an understanding about our "relationship". we're not dating and we're not talking...we're more than friends but i don't want a boyfriend. well, i don't know. i guess what i'm asking myself is "do i want robert to be my boyfriend? or am i just subconsiously making myself like him because he's the only guy who seems to have an interest in me?" does that make sense? all i know is that we're going to prom together and i'm excited because he is freakin awesome.
anyways...
i totally think that my mom is going through life's changes. she's been flying off the handle at every teeny tiny thing that's been happening lately. example: not even 2 minutes ago she went into my sister's room and found that my sister burned her carpet with her blowdryer this morning. (she was blowdrying her hair and saw a bug and tried to fry the bug and set the blowdryer on the carpet and burned it. fucking idiot.) now she's flailing her arms around like a bird in distress and she just won't let it go. she's basically standing over by the washing machine, sorting out clothes, talking to herself. you know how in charlie brown the teacher sounds like "wohp, wohp wohp wohp, wohp wohp?" yeh, that's definitely how my mom is sounding right about now.
i've been a slacker in other areas of my life too, along with my non updation of my xanga. i've been receiving college information everyday for the past few weeks and have a sat down and read one single packet? completed one single application? re-registered to take my ACT? applied for scholarships? HOW ABOUT A BIG FAT UGLY NO.i do realize that this is my future we're talking about here, but i'm just so damn lazy. i do, however, get these huge bursts of energy like twice a month and i feel like i have to do everything right then and there and i get a lot accomplished then, so hopefully [[crosses fingers]] i'll receive one of those energy bursts soon.
i have to work tonight ... AND tomorrow night, which is the PRATTVILLE VS. STANHOPE GAME ... THE BIGGEST, BESTEST FREAKIN GAME OF THE YEAR! my boss said that she'll try and get me outta there before the game starts, but somehow i highly doubt that that will happen. damn. robert's gonna be there. 
well, i hope you are all satisfied with this entry because who knows when i'll feel like actually updating again. later my lovers.
<3 ady | 
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